How to Support Someone Who’s Grieving Without Saying the “Wrong” Thing
- Allison Seller
- May 1
- 2 min read
When someone you care about is grieving, it’s natural to want to comfort them. But often, people hesitate or pull away because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Grief is incredibly delicate, and while there’s no perfect script, there are thoughtful ways to show up—and words and phrases to approach with care. The most important thing? Be present and sincere.
What to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be genuine, kind, and willing to listen. Here are a few comforting phrases that can help:
“I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here for you.”
“I don’t have the right words, but I want you to know I care.”
“I’m holding space for you—anytime you want to talk.”
“Would it be okay if I brought over dinner or ran an errand for you?”
“Your loved one meant so much to so many people. I’m grateful I got to know them.”
These kinds of sentiments acknowledge their pain without trying to fix it—and that’s exactly what grieving people need most.
What NOT to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving
Even with the best intentions, some phrases can feel minimizing or dismissive. Here are a few to avoid:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“They’re in a better place.”
“At least they lived a long life.”
“I know exactly how you feel.”
“You’ll feel better soon.”
These statements can unintentionally invalidate their grief, even if meant to comfort. Instead, focus on presence and empathy over solutions.
How to Show Support Beyond Words
Support isn’t always verbal. Actions speak volumes, especially during grief.
Thoughtful Ways to Help:
Drop off meals or groceries without expecting a conversation.
Send a handwritten card with a personal memory.
Offer to help with practical tasks (laundry, pet care, paperwork).
Remember important dates and check in around anniversaries or holidays.
Give a meaningful sympathy gift or memorial keepsake.
Even a simple text that says “thinking of you” can mean more than you know.
If You’re Worried About Saying the Wrong Thing…
Here’s the truth: Being present, even imperfectly, is better than disappearing.
Grief can be isolating. Many people pull away from those who are mourning because they don’t know what to say. But silence can feel like abandonment. The most powerful thing you can do is show up and keep showing up—even months after the loss.
Final Thoughts
There’s no perfect way to support someone through grief. But your presence, your kindness, and your willingness to simply sit with them in their pain? That’s what makes all the difference.
💙 Looking for a meaningful sympathy gift? Explore our memorial keepsakes and urns, designed to bring comfort and honor lasting love.
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